Episode 46: How to Get Relief When Things are Hard

I know that whatever you are feeling right now, it probably feels challenging.  Here in March of 2020 we are experiencing life differently that we ever have. We’ve never been here before.  And your human brain has never been here before either.  There's a lot to process, a lot to think about, and a lot to deal with. 

In this episode I'm offering you ways to get relief and feel better even when things are hard.  It's my little pep talk for your brain.  

I'll show you that relief is available to each of us when we can identify the true cause of our suffering, embrace the uncertainty of our lives by believing in what is certain, and let it all be exactly as it is.  

No matter the circumstances, no matter the uncertainty in our life, our reaction is always ours to control and that means that relief is always available to us…and that my friends is 100% awesome! 

Life on earth isn't easy.  There are always challenges and difficulties.  But there are ways to find relief and these ideas apply in any painful circumstance that you find yourself in. 

Get Relief by Identifying the True Source of the Problem

So when we are hurting, when things are hard, it’s really easy to misplace the responsibility for our feelings.  It’s easy to attribute our suffering to everything outside of us.

But when we think things outside us create all these feelings in us, we have misidentified the true cause of our suffering and then can’t get relief.  When the world and what happens in it makes us feel terrible, then we have to change the world to get relief and we know that is impossible.

So we get relief when we know that between every circumstance in the world and our feeling is a thought.  Our thought.  That is the source of our suffering.  And it is also the place where we can get relief. 

Your feelings are created by your thoughts and if you want to feel differently, you only have to think differently.

The way to be able to find relief is to see that really and truly, the true source of your suffering, is the thoughts you are having about the world.  The thoughts you are having are creating your painful emotions. Every time.

So what are you feeling?  Ask yourself, “What is the sentence? What are the words that are making me feel what I am feeling right now? What is the sentence making me feel anxious right now?  What is the sentence that is making me mad right now?  What is the sentence that is making me disappointed right now?"

When you know that your thoughts are the true source of your suffering, then yo have to power to change them.

Get Relief by Embracing Uncertainty and Having Faith in the Certain

The truth is we have always been vulnerable.  We have never been able to predict tomorrow, but our brain has believed that it has. 

Remember that life as a human has always been risky, it has always been dangerous and it has always been fine.  Even with all the risks.

Yes being alive is risky, but in a way it is also guaranteed. We all get as much earth life experience as we were ever going to get. Its all a gift. It is fragile. But it is also known and just because we are suddenly more aware of the risks that have always been there, doesn’t change the certainty that we are always going to get as much life and experience as we are supposed to have.

That is certain.

We are not exempt from the human experience of fear and uncertainty and death. All of that is the deal. It’s the recipe for the fallen earth life experiences. We just forget that when life is easy and comfortable and predictable. But we aren’t exempt.

Can we embrace the uncertainty, knowing that our earth life experience and education was designed for us and the length and breadth and nature of it is known and is certain and nothing is going to change that. 

The point of earth life is not ease but growth.  We are in an opportunity for growth.  

Get Relief by Letting It Be

It was always going to be this way. We just didn’t know it because we were predicting our life using our past. We were wrong about the way it was going to go.

If we can just let that be. And recognize that, "Oh, I thought it would be this way. And I was wrong. It was always going to be this." Then we can move forward and stop trying to negotiate with the universe.  

As smart as our brains are they don’t know how it’s supposed to be.

The truth is this is exactly how its supposed to be. This is the curriculum. How do I use this to grow in all these areas that I want to? This is our earth life experience. How do I learn what I came to learn even now?

Have a talk with yourself.  Let it be.  And then ask yourself, "Now what?  How do I want to experience this?"  Because you get to choose. 

Mentioned on the podcast:

• Sign up for a free coaching call

• The Book of Mormon
• The Rich Roll Podcast, Episode #502, Mel Urie on Conquering The Impossible: How to Live A 'No Excuse' Life
• Melissa Urie
• Uberman
• Hymn #239, Count Your Blessings

So amid the conflict

whether great or small,

Do not be discouraged;

God is over all.

To read or download a written transcript of the entire episode, simply click the link below.