Episode 101: Live an Extraordinary Life

Episode Summary

Sometimes we think that extraordinary lives are few and far between, hard to get, and reserved for only a special few. But the truth is that each one of us has the capacity to live an extraordinary life by living with intention and purpose.

Everything that you do in your life is optional. You get to choose it all. Your right to choose your life is unalterable and absolute. None of it is determined and none of it is required and we are choosing our life, every moment of every day, whether we recognize it or not.

In this episode of the podcast, I share five things that will help you use your agency to get the most out of your earth life experience and do every extraordinary thing you want to do while you are here.

Episode Tools and Questions

Every moment of every day, we are choosing our lives. If our brain is left in charge, it’s going to create the safest, ordinary life possible. It will reiterate what we’ve done in the past over and over in order to continue to create what we know. It’s important to be aware of this happening so we can take charge of our own choices. We can live an extraordinary life instead.

An extraordinary life is what we choose to intentionally create, even when our brain tells us we’re wrong. It’s what happens when we learn new things, face our fears, and pursue our potential. Over the past few years, I’ve learned that I don’t want to settle for what my brain gives me on default. Now I choose the life I want to live on purpose.

How?

1. Having the willingness to feel bad

2. Knowing it is a matter of choice

3. Making decisions in the present according to the you in the future

4. Seeing yourself as a problem solver

5. Allowing yourself to be delusional

Today, I’m sharing how to use these key components to create an extraordinary life, because we all have the capacity to create more meaningful ways of living, regardless of what our brains have to say.

Episode Notes

Sign up for a free coaching consultation

My son's podcast: Relatable Thoughts 

Kara Lowenthiel: “Are you going to fight for your potential or are you going to fight for your limitations?”

Ross Edgley

Phil Knight

Colin O'Brady

James Wedmore

Marcus Aurelius:  “Think of yourself as dead. You have lived your life. Now take what’s left and live it properly.”

Episode Transcript

Welcome to the 100% Awesome Podcast with April Price, you might not know it, but every result in your life is 100% because of the thought you think. And that, my friends, is 100% awesome!

Hello, podcast universe! Welcome to episode 101 of the 100% Awesome Podcast. I'm April Price, and I want to welcome you to the podcast. Here we are back at number one, right? 101! And I am amazed as I look back and think about that very first episode, just how far I have come in my business, and my confidence in my own development is kind of amazing to me. And actually that has kind of been on my mind a lot the last couple of weeks. There have been a whole bunch of milestones that have kind of occurred for me in the last couple of weeks, and has really made me think about how we create things, how we are so much more powerful than we really know. And how if we are willing to push ourselves outside of our comfort zone, and not just do the things that we've always done, we can create some pretty extraordinary things in our lives.

So, as you know, last week was the 100th episode of the podcast, which means that I am really close to completing two years of podcasting. Two years of weekly writing, and recording, and publishing a podcast. And my business turns two, about the same time. And there have been a lot of amazing things that have come from this work, and as I come upon this anniversary, I'm just really aware of that. So first, there have been over one-hundred thousand downloads of the podcast, which hopefully means that there are a hundred-thousand opportunities out there for human brains to think differently about themselves, and their lives, and their capacity in their agency. And as my business turns two years old, I can see how starting it on that May day, when I had nothing but hope in my heart, has resulted in so much good in my life, and in the lives of other people.

And I just started my second group coaching session, which means that my capacity, and my abilities, and my demand have all grown in that time, which is allowing me to help even more people really love the Earth-life experience. And on top of all that and all those anniversaries and all those like momentous things that have happened, I also had a birthday cake, which means that I commemorated having had another three-hundred and sixty-five opportunities to live a human life, to manage my human brain through one more day. And it has given me an opportunity to look back and notice what I have done over the last three-hundred sixty-five days to become, and to grow, and to develop.

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And I tell you all of that, to just say that has just really made me reflective, and super aware of the opportunities that life gives every one of us, which always reminds me that our lives, as they are, are always optional. And by that I mean like I spent the last year pushing myself outside my comfort zone, and learning how to feel fear, and move forward anyway. I spent the last year feeling overwhelmed, and insecure, and confused, and uncertain so that I could grow my business, and help you, and help others. And in doing so, I grew a little bit more confident, and powerful, and creative, in my own way. I learned things about myself and all of that, all of that learning, and growing was optional. It was just as possible not to create a podcast, as it is to create one. It's just as possible to not create a business as it is to create one.

Like living a life where I didn't do any of the things I have done was just as available to me. Living a life where I didn't stretch, and push, and experience discomfort was just as valid, and just as good, even. But if I hadn't done a whole lot of experiences, I would have missed, and not experienced. And a whole lot of skills that I wouldn't have right now. And so, I am so glad that I made the choices that I did, to live the life I have lived. And that is what I want to talk to you about today, the truly optional nature of your entire life. It's all optional. You're right to choose. Your life is unalterable, and absolute, like none of it is determined, and none of it is required. You are choosing your life every moment of every day, whether we recognize it or not. And I'm just so much more aware at this moment in my life than probably I ever have been before.

And just so aware of how truly intentional I want to be with my life. I have figured out that wishing it was different just isn't good enough, and that anything I want truly is available to me and when my brain tells me otherwise, I know now for sure that it is wrong. So, today I want to talk about living an extraordinary life. And what I mean by extraordinary, is a life lived on purpose, intentionally ordinary living is just taking what your brain currently accepts as possible for you as the truth. Ordinary living is just reiterating what you have done in the past over, and over again, and continuing to create what you know. I think living an extraordinary life means being in charge of your choices, intentionally choosing the life you want to live on purpose.

So, the other day I heard someone say, like, I don't want to live a mediocre life. And I feel the exact same way in that if my purpose here on this Earth is to grow, and learn, and develop, and become, I don't want to settle for what my brain gives me on default because my brain is not into growth, okay? It is not into learning, and becoming. And I don't want to settle for what I create when I'm not thinking about it, or when I just accept my brain's limitations, and desires to stay the same. So, today I want to talk to you about what I think will help you create an extraordinary life.

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So, the first thing that I think creates an extraordinary life is the willingness to feel bad. So, sometimes when you think about the idea of having an extraordinary life, we sort of fall into a trap where we imagine like this life chock full of bliss, and joy, and ease, and comfort, and achievement. And we hardly ever imagined that an extraordinary life actually contains a lot of negative emotion, 50% in fact. Surprise, surprise. And whether you live a life on default, or you choose to live an extraordinary life, that part doesn't change. There's always going to be 50% of it that is hard, that is negative. We aren't choosing extraordinary because it feels better, and there's less pain there, and less negative emotion. We are choosing an extraordinary life because of who we can become. The experiences we get to have in that life, the skills we get to learn, and the ways we get to contribute in the world. But not an attempt to avoid the negative parts of life, that part is actually non-negotiable. To get an extraordinary life, we have to be willing to feel bad, and why is that? Because anything outside the ordinary, outside our usual outside our comfort zone, is going to make our brain freak out, and protest.

And when the brain freaks out, it creates a lot of negative emotion for us. It makes us feel scared, and insecure, and unworthy, and ashamed, and unqualified. And it's making us feel that way so that we will return to the ordinary, so that we will return to life the way we've always lived it. And so, we have to be willing to feel bad long enough to get what we want. We have to be willing to feel all the negative emotion our brain produces to get something different. So, the other day at church, I was talking to a friend that had just finished coach certification, and she is just starting her coaching business. And we were talking and she said "It's just terrifying." I said, "Yeah, yes, it is." Right? And that's the thing, extraordinary lives are terrifying, and you are doing it wrong. If you're terrified, or insecure, or uncertain, or full of self doubt, it means you are in the arena, right? Somebody is going to throw you the ball. You're up to your line, right? Did I mix enough metaphors in there? Of course it feels terrible, it's supposed to. Because your brain is very uncomfortable with this extraordinary life, and the better we can get at feeling bad, and even enjoying the sensations that are created when we have negative emotion, the more we can do extraordinary things in our lives.

So, the other day I was at the gym, and I was listening to my son's podcast. My son recently started his own podcast. I mean, it is awesome! And anyway, in the podcast, he asked a question, something along the lines of, what if we just decided to like feeling bad? And I was kind of struck by that, because I had just been doing pull ups and I had had the thought, like these really hurt I need to get better at it so they will stop hurting. I don't like hurting. And when he said, like, what if we just decided to like feeling bad, I realized that if I liked the pain that I feel when I do pull ups, I would do them more. And if I did them more, I would get stronger. And then as a bonus, I would also get better at pullups. So, do you see if I liked the pain, if I liked the discomfort, if I liked the uncomfortable sensation in my body, then I would do pull ups more. Hey, if you're building a coaching business, and you like feeling scared, you are going to build more and more. Are you going to make more offers and you get stronger and you're going to get more skills in your business, right? Like what if you don't need to get better at anything except feeling bad in order to get an extraordinary life? Whatever you are trying to do that is extraordinary, or outside of your comfort zone, your brain is going to produce negative emotion to get you to stop.

But if you decide to like that feeling, that sensation, if you decide to like feeling bad, then you are going to be willing to feel it more, which will make you stronger, and give you more skills in whatever you are doing. Whenever I am working on the next level in my business, and it feels so scary to me, and so uncomfortable, and so outside my comfort zone, I always complain to my coach about how awful I feel. And she says "That's just how growth feels." She says, " It doesn't feel terrible, it feels like growing." This is what growing feels like. And if I like that feeling, I'm going to get better at growing. Okay so, the first thing you need to do to live an extraordinary life is to embrace negative emotion. It means you're doing it right.

11:55
Okay, next, to live an extraordinary life, I want you to understand that it's always a matter of choice. So, I think most of us have like this secret, or maybe not so secret belief that extraordinary lives are reserved for the very few, like the world is full of like 99% ordinary lives, and then there's like this precious few that get lucky, and get an extraordinary one. And again, I think this comes from the idea that extraordinary like looks a certain way, a certain amount of fame, or success, or wealth, or creativity, and that's limited somehow. I think extraordinary means any life lived on purpose, and that is available to every single one of us, it's not reserved for the precious few. I also happen to think that any fame, or success, or wealth, or creativity you want is also available to every one of us, and also a matter of choice.

But we're going to take this in baby steps, right? Okay so first, I just want you to see that every human being has been given the gift of agency, which means the ability to choose for themselves, and determine their own destiny. And every human being has the unlimited ability to grow, and develop in any way they want. We are only ever limited by our own ideas of what we can do. But the truth is for each of us that the future is unknown, your future is unknown, and you have the capacity to create anything you want into that future. When we act like it's predetermined by our current abilities, or like predetermined abilities, we are severely limiting a life we can have. Like, if you had asked me five-years ago what my life would look like today, I could not have imagined that you have the things that are part of my life now would be there. I thought I was limited by my health, and by my experience, and by my talents, and by my money, and by my connections. I thought I was limited by my knowledge, and by the major that I chose in college, or by my lack of discipline or my mental health issues. Like none of those limitations actually existed except in my own mind, so stop fighting for your limitations.

As I heard Karl Lowenthal say the other day, "Are you going to fight for your potential, or are you going to fight for your limitations because you will win?" Either way, you can tell yourself that you are limited, and that you can't have what you want for whatever reason your brain says. But I want you to know that believing your brain is a choice, believing that the limitation is there is a choice, and you can choose to believe something else.

The third thing that I want to give you to help you live an extraordinary life is to encourage you to make your decisions in the present according to who you want to be in the future. So, the other day I heard a speech by Jim Cathcart, and in it he recommended asking this question. He said, "Ask yourself, how would the person I'd like to be, do the things I'm about to do?" How would the person I'd like to be, do the things I'm about to do? And a long time ago, I did a meditation where the teacher asked us to imagine walking along a beach. And as we're walking along this beach, we noticed someone walking towards us, and that person got closer, we realized that it was just us. It was us a year from now. And that version of us smiled at us, and we sat down on the sand together. And we asked ourselves some questions, what is your daily life like? What are your relationships like? What is your health like? What is your spiritual connection with God like? What is your work, and your contribution like? What is your business look like? What do you know that I don't know?

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And what occurs to you when you do that meditation, or any other similar mental exercise where you imagine future you, you suddenly realized that you don't have to worry, right? All the things that you want are out there, they are coming towards you. Even now there is another version of you farther up the timeline, but walking towards you as you walk towards her, and she's already living all those things, and doing all those things that you want to do. And I like knowing that there is like interation, upon iteration, of me out there ahead of me. I am her. She is me. And she appreciates everything that I'm doing now to become her. And I know that she is not only just like a possibility out there, but she is a real person. And as I act like she does, I claim that future for myself. So, I think it can be really helpful to ask yourself now, and then what would she do? What would he do? How would that future version of me, that person that I'd like to be, how would she do the things I'm about to do? How would she approach this conversation? How would she love this person? How would she do this scary thing? How would she exercise, or eat, or sleep? How would she pray?

In many ways, this goes along with what we were talking about at the very beginning, that we often just aren't doing things right now in the present because of how it makes us feel. But that just keeps us reiterating the possibility of our current life. And if we continue to do things like we do them now, we're going to continue to get the same results, and reiterate the same life. To live an extraordinary life, we need to be doing what future "us" would be doing. We need to do things like he, or she would do them so that we can create, and iterate that possibility

So, how would the person I want to be, do the thing I'm about to do? How would the person who has 100 episodes, do the thing I'm about to do when I'm tired, and I don't want to, and I'm scared? How would the person who can do ten pull ups in a row do the things I'm about to do when she doesn't want to be in pain? How would the person who sells our coaching program do the things I'm about to do when I'm self-conscious, and scared, and nervous? Okay now, and keep in mind, like, you don't have to do any of it. None of these things make me better, or make my life better. But there are skills that that person, that future me has, that I might want. There are experiences that that person has that I might want. And if I do, how would she do what I'm about to do?

Next, to live an extraordinary life, I think you need to see yourself as a problem solver. So, I think one of the biggest thing our brain uses to keep us the same is the thought, "I don't know. I don't know how? I don't know what to do? I don't know what I want to do? I don't know." This is a phrase that always sounds like the truth. We say it so often that we almost don't even notice that we just assume that, of course, it's true. We don't know. And I want to offer you two alternative thoughts to I don't know. First, I want to offer that, we do know. We know way more than we think we do. And whatever we don't know, we can figure out, like the not knowing, even if it's true, is utterly irrelevant. It doesn't matter if you don't know, okay? It doesn't matter if you don't know if you are a problem solver. I don't know is a thought that is killing your extraordinary life. And it seemed so innocent, and innocuous, and true, and kind of undeniable. But I want you to notice what would change if you never allowed yourself to say it.

So, the other day I was listening to James Wedmore, and he was talking about the mantra of, "I don't know, that it has become almost just like a daily hourly mantra." We say it without even thinking it. And the result of thinking, I don't know, and saying I don't know, is not trying anything new. And to live an extraordinary life, you are going to have to do lots of things new. Which means that we want to replace, I don't know, with I can figure this out. I started thinking about this in terms of like all the books that I read last year that are about people who have done extraordinary things, right? When I think about Ros Edgerly, or Bacani, or Colleano Brady, right? And I will link all their books in the show notes. But they didn't knw how to do any of it. They made their best guess, and then they problem solved over, and over, and over again, they problem solved. They didn't think that not knowing was a problem. And the more you can move into the role of a problem solver, rather than a perfectionist who has to know, the more extraordinary life you will get.

Our need to do it right, and not fail is killing our dreams, and our extraordinary lives. I told you that Phil Knight said in his book that he never expected not to fail. It just it feels so indulgent and safe to not know, right? As long as we don't know that we never have to take any risks. We never have to take any action. We don't have to feel scared, or insecure, or vulnerable, or whatever negative emotion our brain produces, we can just stay safe continuing not to know how. And ever since I heard James Woodmore talk about this, I've just noticed how often I say I don't know, and how it's like this little escape hatch for me. It keeps me from showing up, and possibly failing, or possibly looking stupid, or feeling some other negative emotion I most likely shame for me. And so, I have decided that either I know, or I will figure it out, but, I don't know, is no longer an option.

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When I went to start my first group coaching program, I told my coach, like, "I don't know how?" And she's like, "Well, if you did know how, what would you do?" And I was like, "No, really, I don't know how." And she's like, "Well, how do you think you would start?" She just kept telling me that I did know, and I was, like, convinced that I didn't. And finally I was like, "Well, I'd probably have to, like, have a name for it." And she's like, "Okay, then what?" I was like, "Well, I probably have to like, have a start date." And she's like, "Okay, and then what?" And I said, "Well then I guess I'd have to tell people about it, and sell it." And she was like, "Okay, it turns out, you know." All right, so notice that I don't know, was just a lie that was keeping me from doing all the scary things that would need to be done in order to start my program. You have to be willing to walk into the room of knowing in your mind, right? The room where like, you know, things, and then you have to guess, and you have to try some things. And if you do that enough, and you're willing to try, and then feel all the negative emotions that trying create, there is nothing that you can't have, including an absolutely extraordinary life.

Okay finally, the last thing that I want to give you that I think will help you create an extraordinary life is allowing yourself to be a little bit delusional. Okay so, let me explain this, so I know you already know the principle that our thoughts are creating our results. So, it follows that if we want to create a new result, something extraordinary, we're going to have to think something new. But what happens when we go to think that new thing is that our new results haven't caught up to our new thought yet, right? Our results aren't extraordinary yet. There's going to be some lag time where those results are created, and they build up. In the meantime, we have all the results, and we're trying to think new thoughts, and our brain is kind of freaking out. We call this cognitive dissonance, and cognitive dissonance makes our brains super uncomfortable. Happens when we're thinking a new thought, and it's not lining up with what we see around us because those results haven't had the time to accumulate, and show up in our lives. And so, for a little while, the thought that we have, and the result we have are not matching. They don't quite line up. And we aren't seeing evidence for the new thought. And our brains hate this because our brains like to be right. Brains want to be right all the time.

And so, whatever we're thinking, it's looking for the evidence of that thing. And this is a real phenomenon that as we go to think new things. Our brain is going to experience this cognitive dissonance, and freak out, and say, like, we can't believe this, this is totally delusional. Have you looked at your life? Have you looked at your results? You can't believe this thing about yourself. But we have to believe new things if we want to create new things.

So, let me just give you a couple of quick examples. One of the first thoughts I decided to believe was I'm good with money. And when I first started believing that, I looked around my life and I was like, "No, you're not. Have you seen your credit card balance? I have seen your bank account. Like you still have student loans. You know that, right? Like you cannot believe this new thought. You don't even own a home." My brain was like, you're crazy to think this new thing. Another example is when I started exercising, I tried to believe that I was a person who liked exercise, right? But I had no evidence for that, I hadn't done it for most of my life, I wasn't good at it, I didn't know what to do, and I didn't feel comfortable at the gym. So, I'm a person who likes to exercise, didn't line up with any reality in my life. But if I don't believe these new things, I'm never going to get a new result. If I keep thinking the old thing, the only thing that matches the current evidence I'm just going to keep creating that.

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Okay so, this will happen for each of us. We have to hold the new thought long enough, and experience cognitive dissonance long enough to let the results start stacking up in our life. To close that lag time till our results can meet our thought. I have to think I'm good with money long enough for it to change my feelings, and change my actions, and for the results to start adding up for any new thought. You want to believe there's going to be a bit of lag time while the results catch up to the thought. But if you can endure the sort of discomfort between believing something that you don't have evidence for, eventually that evidence will build, and it will match your thought.

So, I want you to let yourself be a little bit delusional, let your brain be a little uncomfortable, and allow time for the results to line up with your thought rather than giving up the thought, and just continuing to create the same life to create an extraordinary life. You have to let yourself believe things you don't have evidence for yet just because you want to, just because you can. And I always tell myself, like April, like there are people that believe the Earth is flat. So guess what? You can believe whatever you want. There are no thought police. And sometimes I just give myself permission to be delusional because it isn't actually delusional. It's just that the result hasn't had time to catch up. It's just ahead of its time, right? And there's some lag time there. And so, I'm just going to give myself permission to be delusional long enough for those results to show up in my life. You kind of give yourself permission knowing that this isn't actually a problem, it's just a problem for your brain. Your brain is just uncomfortable, but who cares when you want to create an extraordinary life?

Okay so, I hope all of that will help you. The other day I read a quote that was attributed to Marcus Aurelius and it said, "Think of yourself as dead. You have lived your life. Now take what's left, and live it properly." Like, really think of yourself as dead. Imagine it's over, you have lived your life, it's no longer available for use, or for growth. What do you wish you had done, and used today to live the life you want to be living, take everything you have left, and live an extraordinary life. Embrace the experience of your negative emotion, understand that you get to choose, and make those choices according to what the person you want to be would choose. Stop saying, I don't know, and see yourself as a problem solver, and know that you get to believe unbelievable things about yourself, and give yourself permission to believe them long enough for your results to show up in your life. You have the unlimited capacity to create an extraordinary life. And that, my friends, is 100% awesome. I love you for listening and I'll see you next week!

Thanks so much for joining me on the podcast today, if you want to take the things I've talked about and apply them in your life so that you can love your earth life experience. Sign up for a free coaching session at aprilpricecoaching.com. This is where the real magic happens and your life starts to change forever as your coach. I'll show you the believing your life is one hundred percent awesome is totally available to every one of us. The way things are is not the way things have to stay. And that, my friends, is 100% awesome!