Episode 117: 5 Questions to Change Any Result

Episode Summary

If you could wave a magic wand and change any aspect of your life, what would you change? While you might not have a magic wand, you have something just as powerful—your brain!

Whether you know it or not, you have created every result in your life—even the ones you wish were different—with your thoughts. This is the best news I can give you because it means you are more powerful that you realize and it means that if you don’t like what you’ve created, you always have the power change it.

It might not be magic, but it’s the closest thing to it!

On today’s podcast, I am asking five powerful questions. The answers to these questions will allow you to change any result in your life by changing your thoughts. Believe it or not, your brain is as good as any magic wand and these five questions will allow you to put it to good use.

Episode Tools and Questions

We have the mistaken impression that change takes a lot of time. But when you start understanding that your thoughts create all your results, change starts to happen really fast. When I learned this, my life became 180 degrees different in just one year.

These five questions can help you change any result you’re getting in your life. 

1. If I could change any result in my own life, what would I change?
2. In what way do I (secretly) want the result I’m currently creating?
3. Why can’t I have what I really want?
4. By not changing, what emotion am I trying to avoid?
5. If I was 100% responsible for creating this result, what would I do?

The discomfort we feel for believing something we don’t have evidence for yet is produced by our brain: cognitive dissonance - where the belief doesn’t match reality. But to create the new reality, you have to hold your new belief long enough for the results to show up. Today’s podcast will show you how to do that using these five questions.

Episode Transcript

Welcome to the 100% Awesome Podcast with April Price, you might not know it, but every result in your life is 100% because of the thought you think. And that, my friends, is 100% awesome!

Hello, podcast universe! Welcome to Episode 117 of the 100% Awesome Podcast. I'm April Price, and I want to welcome you to the podcast. Before we get started today, I wanted to let you know that my next group, coaching sessions start next week. And this is going to be the last coaching group that I'm going to offer until the end of the year. And so, if you have been thinking about hiring me to be your coach, have you been thinking about changing your life, changing some of the results that you were getting in your life? Now is the time. My next group won't start until December or January. I haven't exactly decided, but I don't think that you should wait that long to make the changes that you want in your life. There are still five months left in this year, and that is a lot of time to change your brain, to change your relationships, to change how you think about yourself, and your life, to change your body, or your money, and change all of it if you want.

I think sometimes we have the mistaken impression that change takes a lot of time. But when you start, like, understanding that your thoughts are creating all of it, change starts to happen really, really fast. The other day I was thinking about like the big, huge, like tectonic changes that I made in my life. I made most of those over the course of one year, like my life was 180 degrees different within one year, and I still continue to change. I still continue to make little tweaks, and build my beliefs, and expand my capacity. But those are like really big changes that made like the biggest like dramatic impact on my life happened over the course of a year. Like it can happen so quickly for you. So, let's get busy and do that.

So, next week as I start these coaching groups, I'm going to be starting one on a Tuesday morning, and then one on Wednesday evening so, that there is a group that will fit with your schedule, and both of them are filling up right now. And so, if you want a spot, I want to encourage you to get on a free call with me in the next couple of days so that you can see if it's right for you, and get signed up, okay? I know that some of you are unsure about group coaching and you kind of think like you'd really rather work with me one-on-one and have some individual coaching.

Like I was just talking to an existing client this week who is like, please, please, just take my money, just let me go to the one-on-one, right? I want to pay you to continue one-on-one coaching. And I was like, come join the group, you will love the group. And here is why, like, I know that it feels like your problems are unique, right? Like we sort of think like things are different for me, like we feel like maybe our problems are bigger than everybody else's, are more embarrassing or or like stickier than other people's, right? Or sometimes we even think like, well, our problems are too small, and I don't want other people to know that I struggle with these tiny little things, right? And they shouldn't be that big a deal.

But I promise you, your problems are not unique. In fact, your problems aren't even big, or small. All of our problems are the same, and they all boil down to that one thing, our brain. We all have a brain, and the thing that holds all of us back is the same thing for every one of us, right? It is that brain. And so, I love group coaching because it provides this incredibly safe, intimate space where you can really see that for sure. Where you can really see like, oh my goodness, these are all just thoughts, and we all have them. It's not an unalterable, like, eternal truth about who I am fundamentally as a person, they're all just garbage thoughts in my brain and I am not alone in thinking them. And that is so powerful to be able to see that in other people. And that's why I just exclusively do group coaching now. I don't offer any kind of one- on-one coaching anymore, because I think there is such a transformational impact in group coaching, in this format that you can't get in any other way.

For me, this container, this small group coaching is the best of both worlds. I keep the groups really small so that you can get tons, and tons, of personalized coaching. My clients in those groups get as much personal coaching as they want, right? And we coach on their circumstances, their problems, their thoughts, their feelings. But then, you also get that additional powerful perspective that you are not alone, and that there is nothing wrong with you. We are all just humans working with this problem seeking, fear mongering brain, right? And there is nothing wrong with you. That is one of the most powerful things you can ever know, and it's one of the things that will allow you to see your thoughts for what they are, and change them faster. Because it removes so much judgment from the change process, and judgment, and shame is one of the things that keeps us stuck the longest. And so, in a group setting, like we get to compassion, and understanding, and acceptance so much faster for ourselves, and that is the key to change.

And so, you are going to get so much out of that from the small group coaching setting. It's going to make your change faster for you. So, come join this group, start breaking up the thoughts that are holding you back, and create a life you love. You are here on this Earth, and you get to make the most of it. You can make the most of this experience. And I think coaching helps you do that better than anything else. I want you to know that you are helpable, right? Like sometimes we just think like we're helpless, we're hopeless, but things can be different. You are not stuck. It is not hopeless. You can change anything in your life, and changing your brain is the way to do that, okay? So, come get some coaching. Let's do it!

So, on the episode today, I am going to ask you five questions. We all have results in our lives, we all have results that we don't love, that we wish were different. And today, as I ask you these five questions, I'm going to give you these five questions, because I think they can really help you change any result that you're getting, okay? And today, as I ask you these questions, I want to like not just talk to you, and have you listen, and absorb what I'm saying, but it would be amazing, like actually if we could, like, open up a two-way podcast today, and you could answer back to my questions, right? And we could kind of coach here together. And that's not possible, so that's why you should get on a free call with me. But in the meantime, I really do want you to kind of treat this podcast as a coaching session with me. And I want you to do some introspection and participate with me as I ask these questions as if we're on a coaching call.

And as we go along, if you want to pause the podcast, and answer the questions in your mind, or if you want to write them down, or type them in your phone, that would be even more powerful. Or if you want to, like, finish your walk, or your commute, or the dishes, or like your workout, whatever you're doing right now, right? And then later you can go back and look in the show notes, and I'm going to list those questions out for you. You can find that list, and write down your answers, do some journaling, and really like examine your thoughts about one of the results that you want to change in your life. And I think it will be very, very powerful for you, and you will get some shifts in your thinking that will start to change things for you, okay?

So, to start, I want you to think about all the results you have in your life right now, OK? Because whether you know it or not, your life is a creation, and everything that exists in your life right now is there because you in fact created it, okay? So, the first question, as you think about all the results in your life, the first question is, if I could change anything, what would I change? Like, I really want you for a moment to pretend you have a magic wand, and you can change any result that you are currently getting, right? If you could do that, what result would you want to change? What would you want to be different now? I want you to be careful as you answer this, because this magic wand has some limitations, okay? You can't use the magic wand to change other people or interfere with their agency, okay? And you can't use your magic wand to change any circumstance that is happening naturally outside of you, right? Like, okay so you can't use your magic wand to change anything that is other people's business, or anything that is God's business, okay?

So, maybe you're like, what kind of a stupid magic wand is this, right? Okay, but I want you to think about it. Like if I had a magic wand that I could change anything that is my business, anything that is like a result in my life, right? What would I want to change? Answer that question.

Okay, number two, now that you know the thing that result that you want to change, the next question is, in what way do I want what I currently am creating? Like, in what way do I actually want my current results in this area? Now, maybe right away you're like, but I don't want them, that's why it's on the list. That's why I want to change it, because I don't want it, right? So, just stay with me for a second. So, we're going to stretch our brains here for a minute and do a little thought exercise. Working with the assumption that our results are just that, right, our results are the accumulating outcome of everything that we have thought, and felt, and done, okay? And if that's true, then there must be some part of us that actually wants our current results. There must be some part deep inside of us that wants what we are getting, right? Or else we wouldn't be creating it, and that's the part we want to explore. We want to know in what way do I actually want what I'm creating?

So, let me give you an example that will maybe help. So, when I first started thinking about doing group coaching, right? I was really nervous and scared about it. And when I first launched it, I only got one sign-up. Like I opened it the opening day when I started launching the program, and I got one sign-up, and I was just like devastated, right? Because I was like, I thought the whole world would sign up for this group coaching program, right? And I talked to my coach about it, and she was just like, she asked me this question, right? Like, in what way do you want this result? What part of you wants this result? What part of you wants one person or no people to sign-up for this group coaching program? Like what is the part of me that is comfortable, or cozy, or safe, or familiar, where I am? And at the time, of course, like it was the first time I had done group coaching, and I was still building my belief that it could be a powerful experience, and that it would be the best thing for my clients. And so, there was a part of me that was really happy because I was so unsure that I could deliver results to my clients, right? And so, that part of me was like in there fighting for that result for one client, or zero clients, right?

And so, we need to recognize that if we are getting a current result like it is, because there is a part of us that keeps choosing it, and we want to know why? We want to know why we keep choosing it? Like how does continuing to choose the thoughts, and feelings that create this result protect me, or keep me safe, or help me in some way? Now, it might not be totally obvious to you at first, but your brain has a good reason that it keeps choosing to create this result, and we need to know why? When my coach asked me that I recognized there was a part of me that didn't want people to sign-up, because I wasn't sure I could believe in it. And that meant I had to go back and do my work to believe I could create results for my clients. That, in fact, group coaching was the best thing for my clients, and until I built that belief, I couldn't create the results that I wanted to, because part of my brain was holding me back, okay?

So, it's a really powerful, revealing question to ask yourself. In what way do I want my current result? In what way is it serving me? In what way does my brain want to keep choosing the things, the thoughts, and feelings, and actions, that are creating this result, okay? So, instead of just looking at our results, and then like throwing our hands up in the air, we're like, I don't know why this keeps happening? I don't know why I can't create the results I want? I'm believing, but it's not happening, right? Like, I don't want this to happen. Like, instead of doing that, it can be so much more helpful to ask ourselves what is the part of me that wants this result? Because when I know that, when I can see that, then I can work on that part. Then I can address my doubts, and fears in that part, so that I can start changing the result. So, I can start changing that part, confronting that part that is scared, or uncomfortable, okay? And we have to do that in order to begin to change the results we want, we have to know what part of us likes the result we are getting, okay? All right.

A third question that you want to ask is, why can't I have what I really want? Okay, so I want you to go back to that first question, right? To the thing that you want, the result that you want in your life. And I want you to ask yourself why you can't have it. What is in the way of you having it right now, okay? And when you ask this question, your brain is going to give you all kinds of reasons, all kinds of excuses, all kinds of thoughts about why you can't have what you want, okay? And you need to write all of that down. You need to take notice of all those thoughts your brain is giving you, what your brain says in answer to this question, why you can't have what you want, are the thoughts that are in your way right now. And it is so incredible, because we think what's in our way are like these huge obstacles, huge, like physical things out in the world, real actual reasons why we can't have what we want. But in fact, they are just thoughts. They're just words. They're just sentences that our brain put together that are giving us an excuse for why we can't have what we want, okay? Every single one of those things is a thought, and we want to know what they are. So, I want you to write those sentences down, what are the thoughts that are keeping me from getting what I really want? Is your brain saying it's too hard, it's not for me, I'm too old, it's too late. Does it say because I don't know how? Like what are all the reasons we want to know?

Now, there may be a lot of them, but if you put them on paper, I hope you will see a couple of things. First, that all they are words. They are words that your brain believes, yes, but they are not actual physical barriers keeping you from what you want, they are words. And the second thing I want you to notice is that if they are just words, like you can change them one by one on purpose. You can decide what you want to believe, and what you want to stop believing, what you want to unbelieve.

So, I was talking to a client this morning and we're talking about something that was in the way for her, and it was the idea of being enough. She felt like her brain kept saying, like she's not enough in her relationship, she's not enough in her mothering, she's not enough in her business. Like it's always telling her, like what you've done is not enough. And that her brain gives her like when she asked, like, why can't I have what I want? Why can't I create the results that I want? Her brain's like, well, you haven't done enough. And once we could see that thought, those words that were keeping her from what she wanted, then we could question those thoughts. And coach on them, and decide like, what do we want to think about the idea of enoughness. The thought of enoughness, right? Because whatever we think about enoughness is going to make us feel a certain way, and it's going to impact our actions. And we were talking about how she has to make a judgment call about what's enough, and what's not enough. And that judgment call, the thought she has about it, is then going to make her feel things, and do things, right? And we are making that judgment call in our mind by what we decide to think about our enoughness.

Anyway, as we were talking, and I was explaining how, like notice if you think this way you're going to create, you know, a certain result in your life. And if you think this other way, you're going to create that result in your life, and whatever you choose is going to create your result. And I was explaining to her that she just got to choose, she got to decide what was enough for her, and she got to choose. And she said, so thoughts have no moral value? And I said, no thoughts have no moral value. Thoughts have production value, meaning that in and of themselves, the thoughts aren't like right or wrong, they aren't good or bad, but they produce results in our lives, right? Thoughts can't have a morality, but they can be productive, or not productive in our life. They can be useful to us, or not. They can create what we want, or they create what we don't want. Thoughts don't have moral value, thoughts have production value.

And this is so powerful to realize. You are under no obligation to keep any thought, you always get to choose. And I want you to make the choice not out of habit, not because you've always thought that way, not because that's what your brain fed you, not because it feels safer to think it. But I want you to choose it because you like the result that it produces in your life. That I want you to choose thoughts that have maximum production value for what you want to create. And so, today I want to invite you to really increase the production value of your thoughts, instead of taking your thoughts as truth, and inherently correct, because you've thought them so many times and want you to know that you can choose your thoughts purely based on their production value. In other words, purely based on what they will create for you in your life. Those things that you wrote down, why you can't have what you want, they are not inherently true, right? They aren't true, or not true, but if they are giving you the result you want, they don't have the production value that you want, and you can totally stop thinking them, okay? All right.

The fourth question that you want to ask, by not changing this result, what emotion am I trying to avoid? Okay, so I think this is a really powerful question for all of us to ask as we go to change our lives, because change always takes discomfort. Changing any result in your life is going to require a certain amount of negative emotion. Now, not changing your results also has negative emotion associated, right? Right. It isn't all positive over there. But for a lot of us, like in addition to the limiting beliefs in question three that keep us from what we want, the other thing that is keeping us from what we want is the feelings, and emotions we have when we go to create new results. We are trying to avoid some pretty intense negative emotions, and not changing is kind of helping us avoid those emotions. And we want to know what those are. So again, the question is what emotion, or emotions am I avoiding by staying the same? Like, am I trying to avoid failure, or discomfort, or fear, or inadequacy? What am I avoiding just because, like, it's going to take longer than I want to create that result? Or am I trying to avoid the judgments of others, and their thoughts where other people will think if I try to change?

Okay, like we have to recognize that staying the same, by staying the same, we're trying to avoid some sort of negative emotion that will happen when we change, and we want to know what that is. For example, when I was first starting my business, my brain produced a ton of self-doubt, and inadequacy, and fear, and shame, all the time. Like even though I really, really, really wanted a coaching business, and every morning my brain would just like feed me all this inadequacy, and shame, and fear. And I thought so many times about quitting, and not creating the result that I wanted so that I could avoid all of those emotions. And whenever I do a cut in my diet, like my brain produces deprivation, and urges, and disappointment, and discouragement, and sometimes I stop creating results I want because I don't want to feel deprived. I don't want to feel those negative emotions. And it's just good to be aware of what we are trying to avoid by staying the same. So, if you are not getting the results you want, what emotions are you trying to avoid by doing that? By staying the same? You want to know what those are so that you know what you need to feel and stop avoiding as you go forward to create those results, so that you aren't surprised when those emotions come up.

Yeah, you can avoid those emotions if you stay the same, but also you don't want to stay the same. So, what are you going to need to feel in order to change things? And again, this is where coaching is so helpful. My coach is always saying to me, when I'm freaking out, she's always saying to me, there is nothing wrong with feeling bad. You're trying to change some pretty significant things here, and there's nothing wrong with feeling bad. And it's just such a relief to be able to just feel those feelings, and move forward anyway, and create the life I want.

All right, the last question I want you to ask, as you think about what you want to change, and what you want to be different, if you had that magic wand, I want you to ask, if I was 100% responsible for changing this, and for creating this result, what would I do? Like, if I was the only one in charge of getting this, if I was the only one who could create it, if I was the only one who could prevent it, what would I do? What would I be willing to do? I want you to notice, of course, that you are 100% responsible if you have that thing in your life, or if you don't, you are responsible for that. Sometimes I think, like, we don't really think about it like that, right? Like our results feel so outside of us somehow, like they're just created outside of us, and we're not sure how. And like, someday we hope that we're going to get that result. We hope that it will happen to us somehow, someday, maybe, right? But that's not how it works.

You are 100% responsible, which is the best news ever, because it doesn't have to just, like, happen to you, you can create it. Now, as I see that, I know that it's tempting to, like, run to the action line, and just get busy doing stuff. But I want you to go back, and remember the work that we did before this question, the work you did in question two, and three, and four. Remember that it wasn't about your actions ever, it was about your brain. It was about how your brain is really the only barrier you have, right? Your brain is creating your current results for a reason. You want to know what that is? Your brain has beliefs about why you can't have anything different. You want to know what those reasons are, and your brain is the thing that is creating all the negative emotion that you are trying to avoid. And you want to know what those emotions are. But listen, your brain is creating all of it.

And so, that is where your work is. That is where you take responsibility. If I am 100% responsible for my results, what do I need to do? The answer for all of us, what all of us need to do is take charge of our brain. The question really is, if I am 100% responsible, what am I willing to think, and believe?

So, right now, I am working on believing some pretty incredible things about myself, okay? I have a goal right now that is bigger, exactly like more than twice as big as any goal I've ever had, and it's been intense. It's been so fascinating to watch my brain struggle with this, and I say it's been fascinating, and that is just a nice word for this has been like horrifying. Because most of the time it's just painful to watch my brain, and experience everything that it like, kicks up for me, right? And I would love to be on the other side of this already, where, like, my brain just believes these new things about myself, but I am not there yet. And anyway, I just want to bring that up, because every day I do work on my brain towards this goal. Every day I look at those questions that I gave you, right? I look at how do I actually want my current result? I want to know the answer to that. I want to know how, like, my brain would prefer to stay here, and why it thinks this is more comfortable. I need to know, that is work I need to do. I also ask myself every day why I can't have that thing, why I can't create that result, I need to know what my brain's excuses are.

I need to know why it says I can't have that thing, so I can work on those beliefs and like, not believe them any more, okay? I need to know why my brain thinks I can't have this thing, why it's out of my power, beyond my capacity, because I need to address those doubts. And of course, I'm always asking myself, what am I willing to feel as I do this thing, right? I know that all the doubt, and all the insecurity, and all the fear are created by my brain, and I am willing to allow it. I'm willing to allow it to be there, as I become, and grow in these ways that I'm asking myself to do, okay?

And finally, I have asked myself again, and again, what am I willing to believe about myself to create this result? What am I willing to change my mind about? What am I willing to go all in on believing right now without any evidence? And I will admit to you, like it is surprising how scary it is to believe new things, right? It is surprising how much my brain fights for the old belief, fights for the old way of thinking like it is clawing tooth and nail all the time to go back to the old beliefs. Like it is literally fighting me to be right about how I can't create this result. And like, why do I want to be right about that? I don't. Why do I want to fight to be right about that? I don't, but my brain does, and I watch it fight for it. I watch it fight for what it has always believed, or at least what has become comfortable believing. And it makes sense that it is so uncomfortable, right? Like, I'm asking my brain to believe in a result that doesn't exist yet and that makes my brain very uncomfortable. It's just dealing with the cognitive dissonance, right? Where the belief doesn't yet match up with the results, it doesn't yet match up with my reality.

But to create my new reality, I have to hold the belief long enough for my results to show up. I just have to hold my ground and believe. Be willing to keep believing, and I am willing to. Every time my brain fights to go back to what it used to believe, I have to hold my ground, right? It's like that part in like every battle scene, like Lord of the Rings. Like the enemy is coming, and the good guys are like, hold, hold, hold, right? Like, hold until you can see the whites of their eyes or whatever. They probably feel like when I'm in the battle with my brain, my brain just like freaking out, and I'm just like, hold the belief, okay? I have to hold that belief that I am trying to believe that's what it requires.

I want you to know that you can have whatever result you want, I promise you. But to get that, you have to be willing to do the work on your brain. And these five questions that I given you will help you do that. It really is miraculous, you guys, but anything you want is available to every single one of us. This morning, I was texting with a client and we were talking about her goals, and creating what she wants, and I was telling her my thoughts about it, and she asked, do you think it's easy? And I said, I texted back. I said, yes, I do. I think it's easy to create what we want. I said, the hard part is managing our mind, okay? And she said, Oh, I get it. Everything is actually easy. The brain is the only complication. And I said, Exactly. Everything you want, every result you want is actually easy. The only hard part is managing your brain, but you can do that. You are 100% in charge of your brain. And that is the miraculous truth that makes anything you want possible. And that, my friends, is 100% awesome! I love you for listening, and I'll see you next week.

The next round of my group coaching program made four more starts soon, and I think you should be a part of it. Your brain was program for survival, but you were made for more than that. You were made for more love and more accomplishment and more joy right now. And I can show you this simple way to get all of that. Join me in Made for More where we will spend the next six-months coaching and reprogramming your brain so that you can get the most out of this life, and the next. Go to aprilpricecoaching.com to sign up for a free coaching consultation and see how changing your thoughts can change everything on.