Episode 131: Your Costliest Thoughts

Episode Summary

What are your costliest thoughts? What are the thoughts that are costing you the results you want? In your health? In your relationships? In your finances? In your spirituality? In terms of your goals and dreams? What are your costliest thoughts?

Because once you can identify them then you can question them. You don’t have to keep thinking them. You don’t have to keep believing them. Every one of them is optional.

Today, I want to share examples of very common thoughts that sound good, but really are costing you the fullest expression of you, and keeping you from trying new things and getting more of what you want in your life.

You need to be better.
You need to be reasonable.
You should be happy with where you are - this is far enough.
You should know this by now, you should be better at this.

These kinds of thoughts are costing you the space to try again, costing you time spent in regret and self-loathing, and time spent staying the same. It’s costing you asking for help.

What is a thought that your brain gives you all the time? What is it costing you to believe it?

Episode Transcript

Welcome to the 100% Awesome Podcast with April Price. You might not know it, but every result in your life is 100% because of the thought you think. And that, my friends, is 100% awesome!

Hello, podcast universe. Welcome to episode 131 of the 100% Awesome Podcast. I'm April Price and I think it's 100% awesome to be here with you. It really is. I stand by that word, awesome. I am like, actually filled with, awe, when I think of you out there listening to my voice that I'm recording here in my daughter's closet, like it is seriously awesome. A few weeks ago, I told you I was, I did a retreat with some of my clients from my very first coaching group, and we were sitting around the table one night talking and somebody asked the question about like, okay, what is a phrase that you think that you overuse in your life? And one of my clients said, Oh, I say, like, "that's awesome" way too much. Like, I just use that phrase. It's awesome, way too much.

And I was like, you cannot overuse the word awesome. I personally think that we don't say it enough. The other day, I was running some errands, and I saw this car with vanity plates that said, I'm awesome. And I was like, yes, like, yes, you are awesome. And every one of us needs that license plate. I think the world would be so much better if every one of you knew that. For sure, I'm awesome, right? So that's the thought for you today, like, I'm awesome, then go ahead and see what kind of day you have, if you think that thought. If you think that all day long, I think you'll be surprised what kind of day that creates for you. And speaking of awesome, I have something awesome to tell you and to invite you to.

In about a month, I am hosting a three day training, and I'm calling it "Get More From Your Life." The training is going to be December 1st, 2nd and 3rd, and I'm going to be teaching, and coaching you for an hour every single day, December 1st, 2nd and 3rd at 12:00 p.m. Eastern. And I'm specifically going to teach you how to get more from your life, how to get more happiness, how to get more love, how to get more done so that you can get the most from your Earth-life experience. Because like we are here, right? We are here on Earth, and this experience for every one of us is finite. Our Earth life experience is precious because it is not going to last forever. For every one of us, it will end. You are here for a specific amount of time, and I want you to be able to get the most out of your life while you are here to use up

Your life is going to pass either way, right? And I think you should live in a way where you get more of what you want and do more of the things that you want to do while you're here. Because amazingly, the only thing that is keeping you from getting more in your life is your brain, right? Like, we all think there are lots of things out there preventing us from getting more of what we want, right? We think like our time, our attitude, our job, our health, the way other people treat us, or hurt us, our education, our economic background are like a million different things, right? We think all those things outside of us are keeping us from getting more from our lives. But the only thing that is keeping us from getting more of what we want is inside of us, it's in our own brain. And so, I wanted to spend these three days showing you how to change that in a really like practical way that you can implement immediately in your life, okay?

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This three day training is totally free, and you can sign up right now at aprilpricecoaching.com/Getmore Just one word, "getmore" and you can sign up there. Or you can also text the word "More" to 66866. So, if you're on your phone, you're listening, right now, you can just text 66866 and when you're prompted you typing "More," and that will allow you to submit your name and your email to get you registered for that course, okay. And if you can't make it all three days, there will be a replay sent out every single day for anybody that is registered. So, it's going to be awesome! You're going to learn how to get more happiness, get more love and get more done, okay? With things that you can implement right now, and getting your brain out of your way so they can get more of those things in your life, okay? So sign up!

All right, onto the episode. So, today I've been thinking, last week, I was listening to a podcast and the podcaster was interviewing someone, and the person he was interviewing was talking about his marriage. And he was talking about how every day for five years, he woke up and thought about leaving his marriage, right? And like, just like that was kind of just this prevalent thought in his life for five years, like. And I was like, as I was listening to him, I was like, yeah, like if you wake up, and you think that thought, and you know, that thought is the predominant thought in your life, like, it's not going to give you a great result in your marriage if you want to stay married, right? And anyway, as I was listening to him, talk about this, I had like suddenly had this realization in my own life, and I realized, wow, like for the last couple of months, I have been thinking on a daily basis that my business is going to fail, right? That like, it's had a good run, but this is pretty much it. And I like, that's pretty much all I can hope for, and for sure, I'm going to fail.

And I just had this moment where I realized, like, yeah, I have been thinking that almost just on default, like my brain has given it to me, and I've just sort of believed in for the last couple of months, I've just sort of seen more, and more, evidence that my business is going to fail. And this is the end, right? And I was just like struck because I was listening to this guy, I was like, oh my gosh, as long as I continue to believe this thought that my brain is kind of just giving me unconsciously like, I am not going to get a great result in my business. Like as long as I continue to believe that, and think that every day, right? So, as I was kind of thinking about that and having this realizations that like I was just letting my brain run the show on default, I had a session with my coach and we were talking and she was explaining again, I'm like, I know these things, but like, sometimes we just hear it in a different way, right?

And she was explaining again, like, the only thing between you and the result you want is a thought that can be questioned. And I just had this powerful moment when she said that because I realized like the only thing between me and the business I want is a thought. And then the most important part of what she told me was that can be questioned. And I think so many times were sort of aware that the thoughts we have are not serving us, but we forget that those thoughts can be questioned that they are optional, right? Like for this guy that I was listening to, the only thing between him and the marriage he wanted was a thought that can be questioned. For me and my business, the only thing between me and the success of my business is a thought that can be questioned. And it's the same for you. The only thing between you and whatever result that you want in your life right now, is a thought that can be questioned.

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And I think so many times we forget that little caveat. That it can be questioned, that I don't have to take my brain's word for it, that it's all optional and that it's up to me to decide what I want to think. So anyway, that got me thinking about like, if I don't question the thought, then the thought is really costing me the result I want. Like, for example, if I don't question the thought that's between me and the business I want, it's costing me like creating that business, and I really started to think about like, what are our costliest thoughts? What are the thoughts that are costing you the results that you want in your life, right? Like in your health? What are the thoughts costing you the results you want in your relationships, and your finances, in your spirituality? Like in terms of like the goals and dreams you have, what are the thoughts that are costing you, creating those results in your life? Because once you identify the thoughts that are costing you the results you want, then you can question them. You don't have to keep thinking them. You don't have to keep believing them because every one of them is just the thought, every one of them is optional.

Okay, so today I just thought it would be really powerful to talk about some of my costliest thoughts. Some of them, like I had in the past, and they still crop up occasionally because I have a brain. And some of them are very present for me now. But I thought it would be like, really helpful for you to see some of those costly thoughts because chances are some of them might be showing up in your life as well. One thing that I have learned by being a coach is that like our brains are not unique, and super creative when it comes to limiting thoughts. Like, we're all super creative, and we all have like ideas of our own, but when it comes to like the thoughts that stop us, most of our brains think exactly the same way. Like the costly thoughts that are costing me my results, they may be showing up in your life as well. And so, I wanted to, like, kind of show you some of mine that I've identified and noticed. Like, okay, these thoughts are really keeping me from the results that I want, and I want to like interrupt that and question those thoughts so that I can get different results. And I thought that it would be really useful for you to see them in my life and like, look at your own life and see if they're showing up in your life, too. So that you can change them, so that you can question them so, that you can create the results you want in your life.

And let me just say at the outset that a lot of these thoughts are going to seem like really useful thoughts like these seem like, yeah, that seems like a good thing to think. That seems like that will really help you. But every one of them are costing me in some way, like being like, fully present in my own life, like the fullest expression of me and keeping me from trying new things, keeping me from, like really going after things and keeping me scared, really like they sound good, but they are actually costing me so much, okay? So, here we go.

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So, the first one is you need to be better. Okay, so this is an oldie, but a goody, right? I pretty much had this thought my whole life in every area of my life, right? You need to be better when it comes to your money. You need to be better when it comes to your health. How many years did I think like, Oh my gosh, you need to be better. You aren't taking care of yourself and you need to be better. My relationships, like I beat myself up with this thought all the time. You needed to be a better mother, you need to be a better wife, you need to be a better friend, you need to be a better person in every relationship, right?

Like how many times, how many years that I spend thinking that I didn't deserve David, and that he really got ripped off in this relationship? And that if I could just somehow figure out a way to be better, then like I could make things right. You know, in my relationship with God and my spirituality, like, I just thought I needed to be better, and that I had to, like, achieve a certain level of goodness before I could really see God, and have a relationship with him, and and believe in his love for me. Like I just needed to be better first, right? And it just reminds me of that quote by Debbie Ford, where she said I had suffered for so many years trying to be a better person. And I feel like that is the story of my life, that I just like, spent so many years suffering, hating myself, thinking I needed to be a better person. And this thought, it seems like it would be so useful, right, that if I think I need to be better, then I'm going to create something different. But in fact, that just never happened, right? I just could never get to this elusive place of being better. You just never arrive there. Like, where is this place like trying so hard to get there? And there's just no arrival place.

So, I want to show you what it costs me when I think I need to be better. First of all, it costs me peace and contentment, like where I am, it costs me loving who I am, and where I am, and the progress that I have made. It has the cost of never letting you rest, never noticing what is good, where you have increased in your ability, where you are choosing the things that you want, right? It makes you discouraged. It makes you frustrated. It increases the shame in your life. And then we bring that discouragement, that frustration, and that shame to all of these areas, right? Like if you think about like when I bring discouragement, and frustration and shame to my money, you, I stop looking at my money and I just like spend money to feel better and make all these terrible feelings go away. When it comes to my health like I when I feel so terrible, I don't feel motivated to take care of it. And it it just cost you so much in terms of like regret, and not being able to change, and move forward.

Ultimately, I think the thought like you need to be better costs you the enjoyment of your life. It costs you progression, and change, and like excitement, and joy for like the things you are learning and and accomplishing and your brain just like starts to ignore all the things that you have accomplished and you have, you know, work to develop. And it ignores all of that with the thought like, okay still not enough, still got to keep going, you still need to be better. So, I really want to challenge you on that thought. If you have that thought in any area of your life or in all the areas of your life like I did, I want you to know that it's costing you more than it's creating for you. You cannot be better, it isn't even a thing. You cannot be better than who you are, you can have more skills, you can create different results, you can have different experiences, but none of that is available to you when you think you should be better.

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Okay, the next thought that I think is costing me a lot, and maybe costing you a lot, is the thought you need to be reasonable, right? Like you just need to be reasonable and rational and be really reasonable about your expectations, about what's possible for you, right? Like any form of a thought that like, that's not for me. You need to be more reasonable about your expectations. Like any of those thoughts are costing you a lot, right? Like any thought that disqualifies you from something you want is costing you that very thing, right? So, this thought showed up for me, like really early on in my coaching journey when I started to like, I started coaching so that I could change my body so that I can improve my health so I can improve like my strength, my back, my weight. Like all of those things, I wanted to change.

And so, like my brain was always offering me the thought like, you just need to be reasonable, like your body has limitations, right? Like you did not win the genetic lottery. Sorry, mom and dad, I like your body is just not built like other people's. And then plus, like you've had all these health problems, you just need to be reasonable about your expectations, like you just can't have like a body like other people. You can't like have that thing that like comes so naturally to other people, right? And this is just nonsense, right? Like, you can have anything that you are willing to work for. And so, I think like this idea that we need to be reasonable keeps us from so much in our life costs us a lot, right?

And more recently, I see it showing up whenever I have thoughts about like my business, my contribution, my influence, my impact, like I have desires to help heal the world, right? That's like ultimately my desire. My brain's like, oh my gosh, you have no business doing that. Who are you? You just need to be reasonable, stop trying to heal the world and just try to, like, get through the day right? Like my brain is telling me, like, that is unreasonable. And and I I just noticed that thought costs me really stretching myself. It cost me setting big goals, it costs me like a lot of the positive emotion that exists alongside with stretching, and hitting big goals, right? Like, if I don't set big goals, then I don't hit them, and I don't get to experience the joy, and the pleasure, and everything that's on the other side of that, right?

For example, like I remember when I first started my business, my brain kept telling you the same thing. Like, like, you just can't like, have a business like your mentors, like you just need to be reasonable, and like lower your expectations and not tell yourself that you can, like, create a business as big as that and influence as big as that. And I I just like, like I said a couple of weeks ago, I had this retreat with my clients for my first coaching group, and it was like one of the sweetest experiences of my life to be able to gather with those women and coach them and see the changes in their life. And just everything that they had created because I had decided to be unreasonable, and start a business, right? It was like one of those moments where I was like, Oh, like when I think I can't it if I believed that, and if I kept believing that, it would have cost me that experience. If I hadn't decided to be unreasonable and create a business, and create a group coaching program, like my brain was just like, you have no business doing this, right?

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It's unreasonable to think you can be successful at that. If I had believed my brain, it would have cost me that sweet experience. And you just want to know, I want you to know that there's just so much more that you can create in your life that the thought that you need to be reasonable is costing you. It's costing you, that's stretching, it's costing you growth, it's costing you experiences that you have yet to have. It's costing you helping, and healing the world in ways that only you can. Okay, so I just think like this, you can just get rid of this thought. It's costing you way more than it's giving you, right? Your brain gives it to you because it thinks it's really protective and we can like, counter like any possible disappointment or failure in the future. And it's just like nonsense, right? Like you can be unreasonable and like, there is so much available to you when you're willing to do it.

All right, so kind of a little companion with that thought slightly different, but the third thought that I find that sometimes cost me is the thought that I should just be happy with where I am. Okay, like this is far enough, good job. And that's far enough, right? Like, we don't have to like, keep making it hard. We don't have to keep being uncomfortable. We should just be happy with where we are, and we sort of think like, it's sort of bad to want more. And that, like is sort of selfish, and greedy, and like comes from a scarce place when we want more. And I just want to let you know, like, I'm all for finding abundance where you are, and loving what is and like finding the joy in the present moment. But that doesn't mean that there is also more. It doesn't mean you have to stop here. It doesn't mean that this is far enough, right? And when we think that we should just be happy where we are, and that's far enough, like that costs us from creating even more, it costs us from seeing what else is possible for us. It costs us the opportunity to push the boundaries of, like our current level of achievement and accomplishment, right?

It really is costing you growth. And most of that growth is happening in your own brain, like the growth of overcoming your own negative emotion. That growth of overcoming your own fears, and insecurities like that is what that thought is costing you. There is always more, and that doesn't mean where we are is less than, or inferior, or we have to get away from where we are now, it just means that there is always more available, right? And I think that this is exactly how the abundance of God works. Like, I think he is always saying, where you are is beautiful, where you are as perfect, you are exactly where you should be, and also come with me. Follow me, there is more. Think that is what he is always offering us, right? More more like, more glory, more love, more of of what he has more of the eternal life that he lives. And I think that's available to every one of us in our Earth-life experience as well. And I think that believing that there is always more doesn't mean you have to be unsatisfied with where you are, okay?

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So, it's kind of a little tricky thought, right? Like I told you, a lot of these thoughts sound really nice, "you should be happy with where you are." Yeah, I agree. Choose happiness where you are, but that doesn't mean that you can't have more. So don't let this thought cost you from continuing to progress, continuing to increase your ability to overcome your brain. Continuing to create, okay?

The last thought that I want to give you that sometimes costs me the results that I want to create in my life and may be costing you some results, is the thought that I should know this by now, right? I should be better at this. And there's like a little companion thought there that I shouldn't need help. Like the thought is like April, you really should have figured this out by now. I can't believe you're still messing up, and I can't believe you still need help with this, right? And I've spent so many years of my life thinking like, I cannot believe I mess this up again. I should have figured this out by now. And it's just it's total nonsense, right? Because of course, I'm always exactly where I should be. I'm always like exercising the exact skill level I have. And so I shouldn't know more than I do right now.

I shouldn't be able to make this choice better than I do right now. It's just like, it's nonsense and what it costs you when you believe, like, I should know this by now, I should have figured this out. I shouldn't be messing up and I shouldn't need help with this. Like what that cost you is like the space to try again, the space to like, really understand yourself with compassion, and stop living in regret, and self-loathing. It costs you so much time like spinning in that regret, and staying the same instead of recognizing that I get to try again, and moving forward. That's what it really costs you. It cost you moving forward in your life to believe that you should like you should have done it better, and you should know it by now. It cost you from, like actually trying again, and and like increasing your ability to do the thing in the first place. And what I think really costs us the most is that we don't ask for help when we think that we should know better, we should know how to do this. We should have figured this out already. Then we're embarrassed to ask for help to need help.

And this is one of the things that keeps us stuck. When I first joined coaching, it was really hard for me to ask for that help, to think that I deserved it right? Because like, if I should know it already, then I shouldn't deserve to be able to, like, ask for help to pay money for help. Like, I should just know this. And it was so freeing for me to recognize it is not a problem that I don't know how to do this. It's not a problem that my coach can see things that I can't see, and it's not a problem to ask for help. Like that changed everything for me instead of thinking like, I should already know this, I should already like have figured this out. I just decided like, I don't, and that's 100% okay. And from there, like I just was able to create like so much more change in my life.

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So, one of us is like, share this little story and see if I can like, bring this home for you. So last week we went to Utah to visit our kids and we got out of the plane on Wednesday to come home. I was coaching Wednesday afternoon and I came out of coaching. David said, Oh, I just got a call from Olivia from the freeway. Her car is broken down and she stuck like, seriously, like three hours after we left the state. She's like, broken down on the freeway needs our help. Anyway, so it turns out like she put somehow a hole in her engine of her car. There's a hole in the engine and she's going to need a whole new car, right? So, David ended up flying back up to Utah on Saturday and buying her new car and getting the old car to the junkyard and doing all the things, right? And I was just thinking about, like, how she did not hesitate to call him, right? Like as soon as she's broken down on the freeway, she's like, I know who to call. I'm going to call for help. I cannot handle this. I'm not supposed to be able to handle this. I'm just going to call my dad, right?

Now we could argue that like, maybe that's not a great thing, but I want to like offer you that. I just noticed like this is what we're going to do as humans, like we're going to wreck things or we're going to like make a mess of things, we're going to get stuck, and we're going to get stranded. And it's not a problem like, okay try again, right? Like, she ruined this car. David flew up. He replaced her car, got her back on the road. Like got her back, like, be able to get to all the places to school, and to work, and do all the things that she needed to get to, right? And it was not a problem. Let's try it again, right? Maybe this time we'll try it with like regular oil changes, but car maintenance. But we get a try again.

And I was just thinking like. Oh, that we could all understand Grace like that, that it doesn't matter, right? Like, yeah, we wreck things, yeah, we neglect things and like, there's damage done because of it, but it's not a problem. We just get a try again. And I think that like that is the compassion that God is always offering is like, it's all right, try it again. So right, let's go again, right? Like, you're not supposed to know better, like it's already done, right? We didn't maintain the car. We didn't know better. And now let's try it again, right? And they just want to offer you that. Like offering yourself this kind of grace in your life can be so powerful you're not supposed to know more than you know now. You're not supposed to be doing it better or have figured it out any better than you have now. Of course not, you're exactly where you should be. Let's try again. And when you offer yourself that kind of grace and compassion, you can just keep growing. You can just keep choosing. You can practice again to choose like how you want to show up in your life. And if you need help along the way, that isn't a problem, either.

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If you need help understanding your own mind, and the choice that you're making and and and you don't understand how to make a different when it's totally fine, like help is available. So, I just think it can cost us so much when we believe that we should have got it right the first time and that we shouldn't need help now. And it can be so powerful instead to think the exact opposite, right? That I'm not supposed to know this yet. And it's 100% okay to ask for help. It is there. It is available, and I would love to be able to help you. The only thing between you, and the result you want in any of your life is the thought that you can question, and I would love to be able to help you question it. So, like I said, I'm doing a training in a month. You can sign up for that. I'm going to teach you like how to question the thoughts that are creating happiness, and love and accomplishment in your life.

And at any time, you can sign up for free coaching session, and I will help you question the thoughts that are costing you the results that you really want in your life. All right, so that's what I have for you. What are the thoughts in your brain? The thoughts that your brain gives you every day that are costing you the results you want in your life? What is it costing you to continue to believe those things? Because just so you know, you can question every single one of those thoughts and that, my friends, is 100% awesome. I love you for listening, and I'll see you next week.
Your precious Earth-life experience is finite. Each of us only has so much time to spend here, and so while you're here, I think you should get more of what you want. You get more love, more happiness and more accomplishment. And I love to show you the one thing you need to change in order to do that. On December 1st, 2nd and 3rd, I am offering a three day training how to get more from your light to teach you exactly how to do that. Go to aprilpricecoaching.com/Getmore to register.