Your Brain Has a Good Reason for Thinking What It Thinks

I was talking to a client this week who had a thought: I'm really bad at communicating and I just can't explain things well.

I asked her how that thought made her feel.  She said it made her feel incompetent, which she hated.

I asked her, "Why would your brain choose that thought?"

She couldn't think of a reason.  I said, "Right now, your brain is choosing to think you're a bad communicator because, as bad as incompetent feels, it's better and safer than another feeling you could feel. What's worse than feeling incompetent?"

Then she saw it.

"Rejected," she said.  "If I feel incompetent then I don't have to try to explain.  I don't have to tell other people my ideas and then they can't reject what I'm saying.  They can't argue or disagree with me or think negatively about me."  

There it was: her brain would rather feel incompetent than rejected.

Your brain always has a good reason for thinking what it thinks.

It chooses to think what it thinks because it believes the thought will protect you and keep you "safe."  It thinks the thought will make your survival more likely in some way.

Whatever thought your brain is giving you right now, and however bad that thought is making you feel, your brain thinks it is preferable to another feeling you could end up feeling. 

What feeling is your brain trying to avoid by giving you that thought?

When you can see why your brain is choosing the thought it's choosing, you can decide if YOU think it's a good reason to keep thinking it.  

My client could see that by trying to avoid rejection she was telling herself she was a bad communicator, which was a rejection of herself.  She did not want to keep rejecting herself and believing her brain.  

And she didn't have to!

Your brain thinks it has a "good reason" for every thought it gives you.  But that doesn't mean it actually is a good reason.

What are the things you no longer want to believe about yourself?

Cause you really don't have to.

xo,

April

P.S. So much becomes possible when you stop believing the thoughts your brain gives you to keep you "safe."  If you want to start living in possibility rather than predictability, sign up for a free coaching consultation and I'll show you how to stop believing your brain.